Six Sentence Sunday~ Find You in the Dark by A. Meredith Walters

Today's Six Sentence Sunday comes from a book that I recently finished and enjoyed so much, I just had to share it with you. Enjoy!

"That's it! I'm swearing off every member of the female population. Do they still have monasteries? Cause a life time of praying and bad haircuts sure as hell beats chicks and their freaking drama." Daniel's lunch tray came down with a loud clang on the table.

Rachel and I rolled our eyes in union and turned to the third member of our trio with what we hoped were supportive expressions.

"What did Kylie do this time?" Rachel asked, popping a Cheeto into her mouth.

I hope you all enjoyed it! Check it out on Goodreads and be sure to return tomorrow for my review!

Sneak Peek Saturday! ~Heart's Desire

Chapter 4

I haven’t talked to Charity for weeks. She avoids me in the halls at school, she doesn’t call and she never asks me for favors anymore. It’s like she she’s dropped off the face of the earth. Part of it is my fault. I don’t reach out to her either. I don’t know if I am ready for that. Frankly, I am still ticked off at her. Well, hurt might be a more apt word for what I am feeling right now. I can’t get over the fact that she knew what Ethan was up to and didn’t bother to tell me, her friend. From my perspective, she let me down. She helped Ethan make me look like a fool.

            On the plus side, The Incident has won me some fans. A couple of girls, Brynne and Aysia, have become my second and third shadow while at school. They think what I did was some groundbreaking event and a testament to girls everywhere not to take crap from a guy. They back me up like Charity should be doing, and hiss at anyone who has anything negative to say. And there are plenty.

            Sam is like a plague on my existence. Her friends are even worse, if that’s possible. When I’m not seeing her and Ethan together acting like the perfect freaking couple, I am getting constant updates on their love life. I know what they did at the latest party. I know how Sam got grounded when her parents walked in on them having sex on their couch. I also know about those five minutes when they broke up because Ethan cheated on her, but he managed to beg off of it just like he did with me.

            I can’t help the sick sense of satisfaction that consumes me when I think of how Sam, that home wrecking whore, is getting what she deserves. I only wish that Ethan was too. If only Karma would hurry up and do her job.

             Speaking of home wreckers… I am standing outside my sixth period math class leaning against a row of unused lockers, killing time before I am sequestered in the stuffy corner room for the next fifty minutes, when I see Sam’s dull reddish orange hair across the way. She is talking with one of her friends, the tall blonde girl who has been spreading the majority of rumors. But she doesn’t know that. Like she senses me looking, her heads turns in my direction and our eyes lock. A silent understanding passes between us and I know, my day is about to get interesting.

            She says something else to her friend and together they cut through the wave of students heading to their next class toward me.

            “Just so you know,” she says in her haughty tone as she stops in front of me, “Ethan and I are together.”

            Every muscle in my body is tight and I can feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest as a bolt of adrenalin rushes through me. I hate confrontation but I refuse to show weakness in front of this girl. I am surprised when I am able to keep my voice from shaking. “Good for you. And I care, why?” As she speaks, I am vaguely aware that I am experiencing some kind of tunnel vision in which she is my central point of focus.

            She sneers as if I should be able to answer my own question. “I’ve heard what you’ve been telling everyone, but we’re happy. He doesn’t want you anymore.”

            I laugh darkly. “Right, like I would want him anyway. As far as I’m concerned, you can have him.” My body is vibrating with built up anger and my head feels like someone has put it in a vise. If I could form a single thought other than the fact that I want to wring this girl’s neck, I would be wondering if a person could combust from sheer rage.

            “I already have him.” Her lips twist into a cruel smile. “So I suggest you quit worrying so much about what we’re doing and get a life.”

            That’s it. I want to kill this girl with my bare hands, but I don’t get the chance.

            From out of nowhere, Sam’s friend appears and grabs her by the arm, tugging her back. “Come on, Sam. We should get to class.” She’s watching me with a look I can’t decipher just yet.

            Reluctantly, Sam lets her pull her away, glaring at me one last time before she goes. After she’s disappeared from sight, sound floods my ears as the tunnel suddenly drops away. Inhaling deeply, I feel some of the pressure in my body wash away, leaving my muscles loose and rubbery. When I turn to enter the classroom, I am surprised to see a handful of my classmates standing there watching me with odd looks on their faces.

            “Damn, Tess was about to kick some serious ass,” one of the boys says appreciatively.

            “Seriously, you looked like you were going to take that girl down,” another tells me. They make an opening for me to pass through.

            I ignore the fact that the distance between me and the lockers I had been propped against moments before, has increased by several feet. I don’t remember moving an inch. Had I taken a moment to think about it, I might find that little detail frightening. It’s like a blackout moment, in which my body and mind were not in sync. It reminds me of the day I slapped Ethan. Right now, however, my only goal is to get to my seat and submerge myself in whatever assignment the teacher has planned for us today.

            When the bell rings to indicate the start of class, I slump down in my chair. Ms. Arding lowers her oversized body into a chair at the front of the room and scans her sights over us. “Who knows how to find the square root of a triangle?”

            I slide further down and keep my eyes downcast. I haven’t studied in a while. I’ve been too depressed. If she calls on me, everyone will know how lost I am. The last thing I want to do is make a fool of myself in front of an entire classroom.

            “Treyvon,” she calls out, and I hear the boy behind me groan.

            Silently, I am thanking God above for sparing me this singular embarrassment. Small favors—I tell myself to be thankful for each and every one.

***

“Have you heard about Ethan?” Brynne is practically jumping up and down in her blue and red bowling shoes. For a brief moment, I hope she slips on the polished wood. That about sums up my attitude lately, mean and hateful, at least on the inside. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, right? If so, I’m screwed.

            I hold up my hand. “I came here to bowl. I don’t care what Ethan is doing, has done, or will do, now or ever.”

            Her exuberant smile slips, but she quickly recovers. “Oh, sure. I get it. No talk of exes tonight.” I can’t help smiling when she pretends to zip her lips and throw away the key. She’s so childlike sometimes. It’s sort of refreshing.

            I select a pretty marbled pink ball and dip my fingers into the holes, pleased to find it’s a perfect fit. Brynne selects hers—a blue and red ball that matches her shoes—and we carry them to Lane two.

            It’s nice getting out of the house. When Brynne caught up with me after last period and asked if I wanted to hang out tonight, my gut reaction was to say no. Her incessant pleading eventually broke me, and now I have to admit, it was a good idea. Anything is better than sitting at home listening to angry girl music and wallowing in self-pity. Again.

            “Okay, so.” It seems Brynne has stashed a spare key somewhere. I resist an eye roll and tell myself it’s time to quit being so antisocial and start having some fun. “First of all, I am so glad you agreed to come out tonight. You totally saved me from another one of my father’s business dinners.”

            “No problem,” I say with a smile. But I’m curious. “Where’s Alaysia, though. I’m surprised you didn’t ask her to come along.”

            “Unfortunately, she couldn’t get out of it.” Seeing my puzzled frown she explains. “Her dad and my dad work for the same company. I guess her mother insisted she go along. One of the downsides of being an only child.”

            “Oh, you have brothers and sisters?”

            Brynne busies herself setting up the screen so our names and scores are displayed overhead for everyone to see. “Just my brother, Bryan.”

            I finished lacing up my shoes and, seeing that she has put my name first, I pick up my ball and get into position. “Bryan?” I rack my brain, but I don’t think I know of any Brian.

            “Oh, you don’t know him,” she confirms. “He graduated last year. He took a year off so he could do some traveling. I hope I’ll get a chance to do that. I’ve always wanted to visit other countries, like Machu Picchu,” she says wistfully.

            “I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think Machu Picchu is a country.” I grin back at her and then throw the ball down the lane. The pins crash together a moment later, leaving nothing in their wake.

            “Oh, I know,” Brynne says coolly. “I just meant I wanted to go see it. I think it would be cool to visit the kind of stuff we only get to see in books.” I knock down seven pins and pick up a spare with my next two rolls. “You’re really good at this.”

            “Thanks. And I know what you mean. I’ve always dreamed of visiting the castles of Scotland.”

            “Not to mention all those men running around in their kilts. Do you think they wear boxers or briefs?” She waggles her eyebrows.

            “I’ve heard true Scotsmen forgo underwear altogether,” I say, playing along. Brynne’s knees wobble and she pretends that she is lightheaded as she stumbles and braces herself on the ball return. I burst out laughing at her crazy antics.

            We have so much fun tonight that by the time I crawl into bed and my head hits the pillow; I realize that for the first time, I haven’t thought about Ethan all day. I also notice that I feel lighter than ever, like an invisible weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know it has something to do with tonight. Who would have thought that simply having fun could have made such a difference? Heck, who would have thought that Brynne would turn out to be such a fun person to hang out with?

            I go to sleep that night with a smile on my face and hope in my heart that tomorrow will follow the same pattern. I’m tired of being tired. Tomorrow is going to be the start of a new day and a new outlook on the future.

NEW! Saturday Sneak Peek

So, some of you may be wondering where I have been lately. The holidays killed it for me and since then I have been taking each day a little slower, which means I have been spending more time with my husband and my kids and less time on the computer. Some other things I have been doing: writing, reading, and homework. Yes, at nearly 30 years old, I have homework lol

If you have been keeping up on the blog and my latest projects, you should already be familiar with Stranded. I am proud to say that it is doing wonderfully. I can't wait to finish That First Kiss, the second book in the Night Calls series and share it will y'all!

In the meantime, I want to share a new project with you that I am really exited about. Like anything that I write, this one has a bit of me in it. Unlike my other projects, this one has much more of me in it than anything else I have ever written. It's far from being an autobiography, but I'll leave it up to you to figure out what parts reflect my life and what parts are purely fiction. Here is the first chapter. Feel free to weigh in, share your thoughts and suggestions, and most importantly, enjoy!

Heart’s Desire

Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.

That moment when you realize that you care about others more than they will ever care about you is the moment you realize that you walk alone in this world. It has taken my whole life to learn this lesson, and I have learned it well. Caring is in my blood. It is who I am. I don’t know that I can ever change, and I don’t know that I want to. Opening myself up to others leaves my heart vulnerable to their abuse, and although I am weary of being kicked, I have no desire to kick back. For those of you who think I need to grow up, stand up for myself, know this. This thing that I have, it’s a soul deep affliction, an illness nearly impossible to overcome. The world needs people like me. It needs someone willing to love even if they are not loved back. This is my story.

Chapter 1

“He cheated,” I say, looking down at my shoes, my face awash in embarrassment. As if I am the one who has sinned.

“You’re kidding,” Charity gasps. “How did you find out?” Everything in her voice tells me that she is invested in my heartache, just as surprised as I am, and maybe even a little angry on my behalf. But her eyes, they tell a different story. While I pour my heart out to her, her interest is on something in the distance.

“He told me last night.” As I speak, I follow the direction of her gaze to a group of boys standing alongside a row of bright orange lockers. They’re seniors, two full grades ahead of us, but Charity watches them with an interest that suggests she doesn’t care. In fact, I know she doesn’t because Charity is a firm believer that age is just a number.

“What an ass.” She shakes her head. “Did he give you a reason? Did you guys break up?”

Again shame grabs hold of me, hanging on my shoulders and pressing them down until I feel like the added weight might finally break me. It’s unreasonable to feel this way, I know, but I can’t help feeling that what I am about to tell her will make her think I am a fool. Hell, I think I’m a fool. “He liked the attention.” I tell her exactly what he told me. “He doesn’t feel like I have been giving him enough of that lately. He was lonely.”

As the words pour out, a tremor takes root in my stomach. I feel sick just thinking about it. We haven’t had much time alone together lately because of my new job. Between school and work, our relationship has been pushed to the back burner.

Charity huffs a laugh. “Ethan only said that because he still wants to have his cake and eat it too. You know that, right?”

I do know that, intellectually. But my heart aches just thinking about walking away from everything that we’ve built over the last year—and eternity in high school terms. “Yeah,” I say, because how am I supposed to respond? I feel like an idiot.

Charity stops in the middle of the hall and turns to face me. “You didn’t break up with him, did you?” Her tone is filled with disappointment, as if she already knows what my answer will be. Maybe she does. We’ve been tentative friends since the third grade, best friends since the summer before sixth. I can still remember the night we met. Laney, a mutual friend of ours, introduced us one evening. During an enthusiastic bike race in which we were pitted against one another, Charity and I bonded over talks of our moody friend and, realizing that we made a good pair, rode off into the sunset together. Well, toward her house at any rate.

“No,” I tell her, trying desperately to hold my head up, but I can’t look at her. I can’t take my eyes off the three boys we’re closing in on. I wonder if any of them have a girlfriend and if they are cheaters too. In the back of my mind, I realize that at the age of fourteen I am already becoming jaded, but I don’t know how to stop it. Life happens. It changes you, and not always for the better.

“He’s going to do it again,” Charity warns.

I know the chances of that are high. Once a cheater, always a cheater, they say. Whoever “they” are. But all I can picture is Ethan’s face, twisted in agony, as he knelt before me in the middle of my bedroom floor. “I’m so sorry, Tess. I never meant to hurt you.”

Tears are streaking down his face. My chest is so constricted I can’t breathe. My heart hurts. I think it might have actually fractured in two, but I know that’s not possible because I’m not dead. It want to die, though, it hurts that bad.

Looking down at him, with his arms wrapped around my waist, his face buried in my abdomen, I resist the urge to hug him to me, to weave my fingers through his soft black hair and never let him go. Yesterday he was mine, today he feels like a stranger. But I still want him. How is that possible?

When he tips his head back and peers up at me through those big brown eyes, anger tears through me. I want to punch him. To make him hurt as much as he has hurt me.

“Please,” he whispers, his voice sounding choked. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I know right then that I won’t break up with him. Not because I think he will die without me—he’s already proven that he would find someone else to take my place—but because I don’t know what I would do without him.

I don’t say anything. I can’t speak for the lump in my throat, but Ethan must have seen the answer in my eyes because he lets out a shuddering breath and stands. His strong hands envelope my face and he pulls me to him, kissing my nose, my mouth, my forehead and uttering a million breathless ‘I love you’s’ as he hugs me to his chest. I feel his relief, but all I feel is a pervading sadness seeping into my soul like poisonous tar. And the anger hasn’t gone away. The longer I stand there, feeling his thudding heart slowly return to a natural pace beneath my cheek, the more my muscles tense. When he leans back to smile down at me, I tell him I want to punch him.

“I don’t blame you,” he responds. “I deserve to be punched for what I’ve done to you.”

And so I punch him.

I expected to feel better, like hitting him would liberate me from this turmoil slowly eating me away inside, but I don’t. I feel worse. You should never hurt someone you love.

Charity continues to chastise me as we make our way past the seniors who barely glance our way. I nod and ‘Mm hmm’ in all the appropriate places, but I’m not really listening anymore. There is only so much guilt a person can take before they begin to shut down.

The lunch hour is over and I have just enough time to make it to my locker and my next class before the late bell. Located on the first floor, my locker is the perfect distance between both of our midafternoon classes, just like Charity’s locker on the third floor is perfect for our morning classes. To make things easier, we decided to share the too small space.

“You’ll be okay,” Charity assures me as she opens the locker and reaches in for her change of clothes. Her next class is gym.

“Yeah, I know.” I try on a smile, but it feels as forced as it is. She frowns. “No worries. Hey.” Reaching in for my math book, I opt for a subject change. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

“No, I can’t. Shay and some of the other cheerleaders invited me to this party at Greg’s.”

I nod my head and try to look cheerful and accepting even though inside I feel my tentative hold on my emotions slipping. Ever since high school started and Charity decided to join the squad I’ve felt the line between us growing thinner. We talk every day, but it’s not the same as it used to be. She’s pulling away, our lives are going in different directions, and I hate it.

“Oh, hey,” she places her hand on my arm. “You can come if you want?”

Charity doesn’t realize she has a tell, but I recognize the too bright smile and arched eyebrow for what it is. She thinks she’s hurt my feelings and so she is offering to include me in her plans even though it’s the last thing she wants to do.

“That’s okay,” I tell her. I start backwards down the hall, needing to put distance between us before I do something stupid, like cry. “I’m not really in the mood for a party tonight.” I purse my lips and give her a meaningful look. I don’t miss the relief behind her eyes when she nods sympathetically.

“Okay.” She starts to walk away, but spins around like she’s forgotten something. “Oh, I almost forgot. Can you give me a ride home after school?”

And there it is; our unbreakable bond. Charity knows she can always count on me, even though I'm sure I can’t say the same about her. “Sure. I’ll wait for you in the parking lot.”

  

Expanding My Horizons

I have been reading like crazy lately. For those who know me, that really doesn't come as a surprise. It's what I do. But I got stuck in a rut--the romance rut. What I mean to say is, I picked up a romance novel about a year or two ago, and that was it. Nothing else has managed to get through since. It had been every romance novel under the sun since that fateful day. Be it vampires, werewolves, CIA, ARMY, or Other, I have been devouring it. Until one day my husband said, you really should try something else. Expand.

Interesting concept. Expand... I rolled it around in my brain a while, let it fester and grow roots, and then I started my plan of attack. There are a ton of places to find free Kindle books, but I have one in particular, aptly named Free Kindle Books from Ereader News Today that sends me the top listings from various genres via email. Now I grab up anything and everything that looks interesting (more romance novels anyone?!). I have found some great ones, and some not so great, but recently I found a GREAT one, that I thought I would share.

Breaking Twig by Deborah Epperson took my breath away. It's a lengthy read, but I plowed through it in a day. A coming-of-age, historical fiction set in 1960s South during and after the Vietnam War, this is a story of heartache and abuse that pulls at the heart strings (Unless you're cold and unfeeling, in which case, you shouldn't be reading this!). I could attempt to put this into words, except I know I wouldn't do it justice. Instead, here is the blurb:

Set in rural Georgia in the 1960s, BREAKING TWIG is a coming-of-age novel about Becky (Twig) Cooper, a young woman trying to survive the physical and emotional abuse of her mother, Helen, a beautiful, calculating woman who can, with a mere look, send the meanest cur in Sugardale, Georgia running for its life.

Not even Twig's vivid imagination, keen wit, and dark sense of humor is enough to help her survive the escalating assaults of Helen and a new stepbrother, but help comes from an unexpected source--Frank, her stepfather. Sometimes, having one person who loves and believes in you is all a girl needs to keep hope alive.

Often raw and irreverent and sprinkled with all the Southern flavoring found in a good bowl of chicken and dumplings, BREAKING TWIG, is about finding love where we least expect it, destroying lives with easy lies, and realizing each of us determine our own truth.

This is the type of book that I love. It spans so much time, I am sure Epperson could have easily made it into a series, but I don't think she really needed to. Plus, it wouldn't have done it justice. It's perfect the way it is. As a reader, you get to grow with the character, learn where she comes from and go through everything with her, so you are really invested in the character and what happens to her along the way. I will say that, although it isn't graphic, it is the type of story that can be a bit disturbing if you are at all sensitive to children and matters of abuse. I know I am, but I found this to be riveting. I wanted to protect Becky (Twig) as much as I wanted to shake her into realizing that she was so much better than this. I rooted for her to stand up for herself, and I cried (CRIED!) when something, I won't tell what, tore apart her world. I saw it coming a mile away, but she didn't, and that's what made it so terrible. Becky is young and naive and lets her heart rule, which isn't always a bad thing, but isn't always good either. I wish the ending would have been everything I wanted it to be, but it wasn't. It went off in a different direction, and that was good. Life should be full of the unexpected, and the ending here worked well. It's just not what I would have wanted, and I am sure the readers will all agree. But happily ever afters are rarely in the cards, and sometimes bittersweet is the most you can ask for.

This is definitely a young adult read. I would recommend 18+ for adult content and subject matter. I highly recommend it. Try it. Now. Go. Then come back here and tell me how much you loved it too.

                             Breaking Twig is available on Amazon for just $2.99.
                                              Pick up your copy today!