Monday, March 28, 2011

Fool Proof Plan For Survival

So my gal pal says, why don't we blog together? She throws out ideas. I pick this one. Why? I say, why not! Everyone needs to know what to do if their neighbor shows up that their door looking to borrow more than a cup of sugar. So here's the plan should the proverbial shit hit the fan.

First, scream. Followed quickly by grabbing all essential items.

1. Backpack- You have to have something to carry it all in!
2. Books- For those lonely night on the run.
3. Matches- I'm no girl scout.
4. Ipod- Theme music for when I'm bashing heads.
5. Full body chain mail suit- I'd like to see them bite through that!
6. Titanium baseball bat- Beats running out of ammo.
7. A can of hairspray and a lighter- For the times when distance is essential.

Now that I have everything, it's time to head out. In this case, I've heard Walmart is a good place to hole up. I choose to hoof it because zombies like shiny things that go vroom! On the way, I pick up a couple friends and a few stragglers-- this is important as you will need some sacrificial lambs if you want to survive.Of course some of these people don't adhere to my warning to stay calm and be quiet, thus calling immediate attention to our group. As leader, I am forced to debilitate them and yell, "Run!" guiding my remaining team to safety. Once at Walmart, I create a rag tag team of misfit warriors. We gather all manner of weaponry available in Hunter's Corner and take to the roof where we proceed to pick off those mindless freaks and save the world...or the greater part of Northwest Ohio as it were.

Now, I'm sure this isn't your typical blog by any means, but zombies is an important topic. With the nuclear reactors melting down in Japan and what not, it's totally feasible that the soldiers in Afghanistan could mutate into flesh eating monsters is it not? And if you've ever seen that old zombie flick with the zombie shark, you know that this condition is sure to spread, and fast. The only question left is, will you survive?

1 comment:

  1. I'm thinking I'll survive for a few minutes. You and I think alike in survival lmao


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