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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Weekend Writing Warriors 8 Sentences ~ That First Kiss by JC Valentine




His lips grazed lightly across her cheek and Piper closed her eyes as they gently touched her skin and made a slow path along her jaw to her mouth. His breathing was heavy and ragged as he held her close, breathing her in. “I love you, Piper Donovan,” he whispered.
Piper’s breath came to a screeching halt and her heart bottomed out. Had her ears deceived her, or had Tate just told her he loved her?
“I love you so damn much, and it scares the fucking shit out of me,” he confessed through gritted teeth, as if admitting that had cost him dearly. “I know I’m an asshole, and I’m sure as hell not worthy of you, but if you give me a chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be.”


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6 comments:

  1. Consider in the last sentence rephrasing the "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be." could be read wrong--just a thought. Excellent #8Sentence. Well written, nice emotion and the scene draws the reader in. Good job.

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    Replies
    1. Excellent suggestion, Susan. Thanks! And thank you for stopping by. I hope to see you around again sometime :)

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  2. Oh what a moment! Yes, my mind would come to a screeching halt too most likely - great snippet!

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  3. Ah, that melting moment when the hero reveals he's just as smitten as she is. Beautifully written.

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  4. What a smoldering moment! Awesome declaration of his feelings. :)

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  5. Awww. That was a very romantic first kiss. When a guy can admit he's not perfect, there's hope. :)

    History Sleuth's Writing mysteries.

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